


Her Return

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: Provost's Dog - Tamora Pierce, Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 06:09:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13140690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: After the events of Mastiff, Sabine returns to Corus





	Her Return

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alessandralee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alessandralee/gifts).



When they first returned to Corus, there were any number of things to keep Sabine busy. First she had to escort the queen and Gareth safely to Roger's arms. Then it was the chore of recounting their travels to Gershom and Roger, and parts of it again to the Chancellor, and then in testimony before the Lord High Magistrate for what felt like months but was in reality only weeks. Sabine had been given a room in the Palace, near to the courts, as had Beka and Farmer. Nomalla was enjoying slightly less comfortable accommodations at the crown's mercy, but it was better than the rest of her family could say.

There had been a brief visit down to the lower city for Mattes funeral, Dog style, but that had only been one afternoon, and then she had returned to the palace.

Now, however, the trials were done, the punishments given, and the crown's hospitality was worn out for the trio. Beka was returning to her lodging house, Farmer was off with Gershom, and Sabine was on her own as the afternoon wore on.

She stood for several minutes at the foot of the stairs, not wanting to go up. Sabine remembered the first time she had visited Mattes here, and how old and rundown the outside of the building had looked. She had made an offhand comment to Mattes about it being a better investment if he maintained it. The next time she had visited, the stairs were replaced, and the outside trim had all been painted bright yellow.

At the time, Sabine thought he had seen the wisdom in her comment; perhaps he had done similar in the past but had simply allowed his Dog work to distract him from tending to his investment. Now Sabine wondered if there was something different behind it. If, even then, Mattes was ashamed of his status and determined to do anything to raise his estimation in her eyes.

Finally, Sabine forced herself to walk up the steps, to reach their door. There was the mat to wipe the mud off your boots. There were Mattes' little roses in the window boxes, carefully tended by Zia in their absence, to Mattes' very precise instructions. There was the flag holder he had jokingly installed, so she could raise her flag when in residence, like some country noble in his castle.

At least, she had thought it was a joke at the time, and had only used it that once, at Mattes' insistence. Now, she wondered.

Fishing out the key, Sabine opened the door. Zia had kept it well tended, apparently following her orders to come by every other day to tidy and care for the plants. Flowers sat in the vases on the kitchen and bedside tables; Sabine liked to see something pretty when she returned from a hard trek. There would be no food, as that was silly to waste, but a few coppers a week on fresh flowers was an indulgence Sabine could afford. And the entire city knew that she and the others had returned, so Zia must have heard it as well. Sabine would go to an eating house tonight, and if Zia did not come tomorrow morning, would go seek her at her mother’s house, where she was staying while both Mattes and Sabine were away. Sabine saw no reason to confine the girl to a lonely, empty apartment.

Looking around at the tidy, warm, room, one would hardly know that she and Mattes had been gone these weeks. It looked just as though she had but returned from some lark, and that he would be back after his shift. The homey touches that she had added over the years - not that Sabine was the homey type, certainly not compared to those Gentle Mother idiots, but she did like her creature comforts when out of the field - those touches were dotted around the room. An extra throw blanket on the couches, cushions on the kitchen chairs, her houserobe and his slippers.

Mattes had resisted at first, but Sabine had informed him that there was no rule insisting a Dog had to live as austerely as a Mithran when off duty. There was no reason why he had to park his aching bones on a hard bench, or go cold rather than light a fire that wasn't quiet needed when he could have the comfort of cushion and blanket instead. She reminded him that he was no longer a hill barbarian, but a respected and hard working Dog. At the time, Sabine thought that her success was a result of logic and comfort winning out over long habit. Now, of course, she wondered.

As Sabine sank into her favorite seat, she pulled the waiting blanket around her shoulders; it suddenly seemed very cold in here. What had seemed welcoming and homey just moments before now felt oppressive, and snobbish. She had wanted comfort for both of them, but had Mattes seen her as a demanding noble Lady? Had she made him feel inadequate, even in his own home? Had her own desire for civilization and ease after a year in exile in a tent made him feel that she needed opulence?

Sabine had done a good job of pushing Mattes’ betrayal to the back of her mind. On the road she was still on duty, guarding first Gareth and then the Queen’s retinue. Then she had thrown herself into the actions of reporting and testifying. Even the funeral had been a moment of levity, as so many shared their fond memories of her barbarian. Sabine had seen Beka give a smile more than once during the telling, and found herself doing the same. It was far easier to remember Mattes that way, rather than the hulking villain who killed a child and attempted to kill his partner in the dark night, rather than the pathetic figure who tried to kill himself rather than face her.

But now, alone in their rooms, Sabine could not banish those images from her mind, nor the things that Mattes had said and done during the Hunt. Now she couldn’t help but wonder how much she had pushed her man into the mindset that let him betray everything he had previously believed in.

In a movement that was not as swift as she would have liked, Sabine sprung to her feet, ignoring her tired knees, and tossed off the blanket. She could not stay here. She would go to dinner tonight, and then return to the castle. She would ask Roger to give her something to do; something to keep her mind too busy to think about Mattes. An assignment that required her to travel, or move to a different district, at least. Something to keep her from having to return here again, where she would second guess every moment of the last four years.

Mind made up, Sabine swiftly pulled her boots back on and left their apartment, unsure if she would ever return.


End file.
